As the bride-to-be you’ll have many decisions to make while planning the wedding of your dreams. When opinions start to fly at you, knowing the dos and don’ts will help you stay calm, cool, and collected.

What follows is an overview of some common dilemmas that face today’s bride. There are many books on the subject readily available if you require more in-depth answers.

Is it OK to register for a second marriage?:

Yes, after all it’s a new life.


Your RSVP date has passed and you are still missing several response cards:

Procrastinators can be one of the more frustrating aspects of planning your wedding but you should wait until about two weeks before the wedding, then start calling. When calling just explain that your caterer is asking for a final head count. If you can’t reach some of the people, leave a voice message and if you don’t hear from them for a couple of days, just let it go. At this point it’s safe to assume they are not coming. If you feel awkward about calling, ask your mom or future mother-in-law to help.


Can I let guests choose their own seats at the reception?:

Only in situations where formal seating is not necessary, however if you are serving a full meal (buffets included), then you should have a seating plan. Your guests will feel more at ease knowing that they don’t have to look for a friend to sit with, search for a table with enough empty seats for their entire group, or worry about saving seats.


Wording the invitations can lead to a sticky situation in this era of blended families:

The sponsors of the wedding -- usually the brides parents -- issue the invitations and announcements, regardless of whether the bride still lives with them. The sponsors do not necessarily pay for the wedding, so even if you and your fiancé are paying, the bride’s parents may still be listed at the top. If your parents are divorced the parent who primarily raised you customarily issues the invitations. Divorced parents who are on good terms may choose to send a joint invitation, in which case they should list their names on separate lines. If divorced parents do not want their names to appear together on the invitation but the bride wants to acknowledge them equally, one parent can issue the invitation to the ceremony and the other can issue the invitation to the reception. Both invitations should be assembled and mailed together as usual.

If your parents are deceased, your guardian, closest relatives, or family friends may sponsor the wedding. When related hosts, other than the bride’s parents, sponsor the wedding the relationship to the bride should be spelled out. Traditionally the brides surname is not listed unless it is different than the sponsor. Of course the bride and groom may choose to issue the invitations themselves, without a sponsor.


Can we include close friends of the opposite sex in our respective wedding parties?:
 
Mixed parties have become a common twist in modern weddings. It is not uncommon to find a “Man of Honor” or a “Groomswoman” in bridal parties these days. If this situation comes up be sure to choose proper attire. Men on the Bride’s side should wear clothing that compliments the groom’s attendants but can be accentuated by choosing different accessories. A woman in on the Groom’s side can wear a tuxedo as the other groomsmen or a dress similar in style to the bridesmaids.

Is it OK to wear white if I have a child but have never been married?:

Yes, white is right for any woman about to walk down the isle: it is considered a symbol of joy rather than chastity. Although a veil or long train are both still associated with virginity -- but in any case, do what makes you happy.


In what order are the mothers to enter, be seated, and exit the ceremony?:

Assuming that the mothers will not be escorting either the bride or the groom down the isle, the groom’s mother is seated first, by the head usher or her son, if he’s an usher. The mother of the bride should be seated just prior to the processional (by the head usher or her son, if he’s an usher). The bride’s mother is the first to be escorted out, usually by her husband, after the wedding party recesses.


If a close family member or member of the bridal party passes away shortly before the wedding:

The decision to proceed is up to you and your fiancé. If you choose to continue as you feel that individual would have wanted you to, a gesture of respect would be to modify the ceremony or reception. Close family and friends who are in town to pay their respects to the dead may want to toast your new beginning together. At the reception guests may want to make toasts that bridge the gap between the two events. Your clergy member will be helpful in this situation.
 
Copyright 2008 by Fusion Innovative Marketing